My heart's on the floorsomewhere
by TheLlamaArmada628
Summary: We all know Russia's heart falls out every once in a while...anyone know why? Love story I made up for my cousins during a camping trip, built around that and a Rochu picture I saw. Warnings: Suicide attempts, yaoi, an incestuous sister, a scarf that grabs people, and the personification of Russia's winter.


**My little cousins asked me to tell them a story, and they love romance stories and this happened, the only difference was I gender bent China in their story, this one isn't. So it is my official first Yaoi, I just realized that all my stories weren't, so yep. My first yaoi, one shot, maybe two shot, if anyone reviews;) I have a bad problem with not translating languages so the only Russian part is 'I'm so sorry' and that is all!**

* * *

**My hearts on the floor...somewhere.**  
China has a scar on his shoulder given to him by Russia during the Sino-soviet border conflict. Russia later gave himself the same scar out of guilt.  
He felt awful, terrible! How could he do that to Yao?! Why couldn't he just move the border!  
He banged his head on the desk until it bled. _Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! My heart hurts so badly! Stupid, stupid, stupid! I hate these feelings! They hurt so badly! Stop! Stop! Stop! I want them out! _Bmpbmpbmpbmp..._out_..BMPBMPBMPBMP..._OUUUUT_! Ivan reached for the letter opener and started carving at his chest, nothing but the image of Yao's face, when he lashed out and drew his sword across Yao's shoulder, of course it wasn't life threatening, but just the act of it shocked the both of them, how could he do that to Yao? It was his boss! Yelling at him to end his Yao-Yao's life, stupid man, didn't know it couldn't be possible to just end it like that. But it was the pressure of the army of his citizens and his boss watching him, while Yao's men threatened and cursed at him, it was that flair of the moment thing.  
"Mne ochen zhal...mne...ochen...zhal, but I don't want to be alone anymore, and without you... I am." He cried helplessly, disregarding the pain wondering why he was still alive when his heart was in his hand torn out completely, he dropped it on the floor after maiming it, and watched it splat, pumping blood onto the floor.  
"I don't want to hurt anymore..." He sniffled, slowly drifting off into death when the window slammed open...no, please don't...please...don't save me. General Winter...

* * *

He awoke his chest intact, a dream...a strange dream or memory, whichever one Ivan didn't care to know, all he knew was that his heart fell out every once in a while, it'd make sense, but he didn't want to fix it, it'd mean being hurt, and he wouldn't do that ever again. After he and his union fell, he was stone cold, being numb to being alone, and he liked it that way, except when it came to his neighbor, he always felt the need to be closer to him, but watching him garden from a distance every morning was enough, but really he missed Yao. He knew Yao was the only one he could trust. But there was more to it! Now it just frustrates him, his feelings are so blurred.  
"S-sir, a man is at the door for you." Lithuania said, Ivan sighed then smiled, like he always does, he bets the first chance he gets Lithuania would leave him too. It's better this way. He'd rather not hurt and feel nothing at all. It was all the same to Ivan.  
"Who is it?" Ivan asked.  
"America...sir." He nervously trembled.  
"What is it America?" Ivan asked impatiently, but kept his smile.  
"Dude! China sent me over to get you, you totally forgot the meeting at Yao-yao's house, didn't ya, not cool bro!" That name struck a nerve with him, and he didn't know why! He took out his pipe and threw it with all his might at America's feet.  
"Time for you to leave now, da?" Ivan cheered.  
"Ah~yeah...k, commie dude, bye!" He scampered away, he's so young and strong yet so annoying. He couldn't believe that he won the cold war against him, he, whose been here so many centuries, he, that has been so much. Yet he glides through life adored by everyone and protected, this is one of many reasons he hates America, and that nickname! Damn it! Why! Why! Why! Why is it that it holds so much meaning to him?!  
"Tch, well off the meeting~ do svidanya!" He waved Lithuania, Estonia, and small one off.  
The meeting was as usual, America talked too much, France and England fought, and Germany yelled. All is good with the world, except for Yao who sat there annoyed. This put Ivan in a foul mood, but not at Yao…at everyone else. Not that he wouldn't take joy in smashing all of their faces in but it wasn't provoked, it just, didn't make sense...  
He shook his head, and jumped into the conversation like he usually would, threatening nations and asking to become one.  
When China stood up and left the room in the midst of it all, only two noticed Japan and Russia.  
Russia got up and followed him. Why? He didn't know.  
"They're all idiots, da?" He stared.  
"Yes, they are aru." Yao and stared at Ivan for a while then turned away. "How can you be so calm? You're about to go to war with Japan!"  
"I know, I've got General Winter on my side."  
"Who is that aru? Nevermind... I can't help you, I wish I could aru." The smaller nation admitted.  
"I know. I've always been alone anyway!" Ivan smiled warmly.  
"Ivan, aru...I want you to know that I..I-I don't_"  
"I know, I have for a while. And I'm fine with it." That _you hate me, you always push me away, I can take a hint, ever since..._he stared at Yao's shoulder.  
"Fine with it aru? I don't think your guessed right aru." He waved his oversized sleeves in front of him.  
"Big brother! I knew I would find you here! Marry me. Marry me. Marry me." Belarus huffed, having run here...again.  
"Crap!" Ivan yelled and ran "Bye-bye, Yao-yao!" He waved, why did he just say that? Stupid memories, I don't want them back.  
He ran home Belarus close on his tail. He had to jump on a train, which, thankfully was transporting of Vodka to Russia, from Sweden. Swedish vodka wasn't that bad, but Russian Vodka better. He practically hitched a ride all the way home.  
When he noticed something missing, he clutched his chest, no beats. Shit! What if someone steps on it? He didn't want it fixed, but he couldn't imagine he'd live much longer if he didn't find it soon… maybe it fell out at home.

* * *

America walked out of the conference room at last, since he was the hero, he helped Belarus arrange a ride home, though she wanted a ride to Russia, the hero thinks she'd be better off at home, something seemed to have gone down, between China and Russia, China sent us off more stressed looking than usual.  
"Finally! I can_What the hell?!" He almost stepped on something...red. "Hahahaha! That's so gross!" He squealed...heroically.  
Hero time, he thought, someone's missing a heart and its time for the hero to show up! Its a country obviously or an aliens since its still...alive.  
He picked it up squeamishly and searched it, for any abnormalities, it was cold, and there was staples keeping it from oozing out blood, dude, this heart is totally almost not functional, must be some kind of magic..._I'll ask Iggy! _He turned it over and saw some scars on it, shaped with some weird Asian symbols maybe it's Japan's.  
So onward to Japan's house despite them being enemies, and made his heroic entrance, he kicked down the bamboo door.  
"Dude what's wrong with your door? It wouldn't open." He said calmly.  
"It srides, America-san." Japan said calmly.  
"Yo dude, this yours?" America held out the heart.  
"Erm, Ei, it is not. Whose is it?" Japan asked concerned and freaked out.  
"Dude, I dont know! It has your Asian marking on it." America said thinking tossing the heart up and down in the process.  
"Onegai, prease do not do that, the mess wourd be unpreasant. Ret me see the marks." America tossed it to him, "Ah, prease be more careful!" He scolded before examining it. "It's not Japanese, its Chinese, very bad written Chinese, it says Yao Wang."  
"So China?"  
"No, it is too sroppy for someone who writes in this ranguage every day." He explained. "America-san?" He had left.

* * *

Ding dong!  
"Yo China, it says your name, keep it!" He shoved the heart at him and ran off.  
"Aiyaaa! This is gross!" He complained outwardly, but he knew who it belonged to. He went inside, and put it on ice like he was instructed to many winter's ago.

* * *

"ChIiIinaaaa!" A voice boomed from outside. China opened the door armed with his ladle and wok,  
" Who is it?" He asked.  
"China, Russia has killed himself." The voice said.  
"That's not funny aru..." He wondered if it was true, his arm was bandaged because of him, why should he care.  
"I will save him, he had carved your name into his heart, so if you receive it put it on keep it on ice, or he will return to deaths hands, he will not remember much, including those precious summers you spent together or confessing to you. You must forgive him, it is better this way, he hurts much and your betrayal was the last straw, things will be as they were. For him, will you accept that?"China thought about it.  
"If it takes away his pain, I can endure it." He said decisively_, I won't hurt him again, aru.  
_"Good, I am sorry Yao Wang, but this is how it must be." The voice said.  
"I know, wait, who are you?" He yelled to the sky.  
"In a sense, I am his father." The voice gradually disappeared.  
He thought it was a dream, but Ivan never came to visit, even in the winters when he doesn't like to be alone, and when he first saw him, it shattered him when he greeted with a "Privijet Yao, you become one with me, da?" He almost cried because...he already had, on more occasion than one and he remembered none of them.  
Things were as they were but was it really better for him?  
Yao picked up the phone and waited for Ivan to pick up, a number that he hasn't called in years. He picked up the phone with the usual sound, some random country being harassed by one of the largest countries in the world.  
"Ivan, I have it." Yao sighed massaging the bridge of his nose, at least that part of him didn't change, he thought.  
"Da! Will be there soon!" He cheered.  
"Dude I sweeeaaar I dont haaave it, gimme my burger, I worked hard for thaaat!" Yao heard America in the background.

* * *

Ding dong, China sighed and took the bucket with the heart and ice to the door.  
"Here it is, keep closer care of it aru." He scolded.  
"Sorry, Yao. Thank you!" Ivan smiled.  
"M-my name was carved into it, why did you do that?" China asked.  
"Because your my neighbor, I guess, I don't remember much, on second thought, Yao can have it, it belongs to you anyways." He handed the bucket back and made his way down the long stairs. _So that's it, huh? Just this once, I'll follow you._ "I-I always thought of myself as a sunflower, it's why I like them so much." China nervously started, staring at the ground. Ivan stopped, and turned to face Yao, who was now crying. "In order to survive the sunflower, follows the sun in any direction, always keeps in it view, because without it, it would die." These words sounded familiar...Yao stopped to sniffle " Yao-Yao, is the country where the sun sets, so I think that's about right. I'd follow you to the ends of the world and I will always long to see you even if you were to leave me, if even for a minute. Because without you I think I would die."  
"What are you saying?" He looked shocked, while Yao was in complete tears.  
"These were the words you said when you first told me you loved me aru, I know it's selfish, but I feel the same way too, what am I supposed to do when you're always out of my reach? Tell me that why is it that you tell me all these wonderful things and you kill yourself, and forget, is it that great? Do you feel better aru? Because from the moment you forgot, I died! I hope your happ_" Ivan ran up the stairs and pulled Yao into a hug.  
"I'm sorry, I keep hurting you. I only chose to forget. Because I thought you left me, I didn't know...you felt the same."  
"Of course, I did aru! Why would you think that! I love you! You're such an idiot aru!" China kicked Russia. Tears began to fall from Ivan's eyes and a warm feeling spread. The answer to all those questions, I loved Yao and all these beautiful emotions flooded a back along with the pain. Life was bearable because of Yao, now that he had Yao back, will it be okay to feel again? Would my feelings of betrayal overshadow my love for him? What if the Ivan of back then didn't feel the same about Yao as he did now?  
Ivan snapped out of his daze to see Yao staring at his chest, with a blank expression, like he just lost him. His lips they were his once, has he been waiting all this time? Or did he...?  
"Are you going to kiss me or not aru?" His cheeks became rosy, of course he waited. How silly of him to worry. Worry? That's a new one.  
"Da!" He cheered and closed the space. The bucket fell over from the sudden rapid beating.  
"Shit!" They both yelled, and ran down the stairs.  
And it fell on America who was dragged to Chinas house by Russia's scarf.  
"Ow." He groaned, it broke the fall, and the heart stayed intact.  
Ivan and Yao sighed in relief. Yao picked up the box and handed the box to Ivan.  
"It's up to you." Yao said as Ivan took the box.  
"No question about it, you can have it...but I'll keep it close." He smiled and did the damned deed. To be truthful he didn't feel much different except having his memory back, but nothing changed about his feelings towards Yao, he still loved him.  
"Feel different aru?" Yao asked.  
"Nope!" He pulled Yao in and kissed him again. Enjoying every feeling, thinking about all the time he's missed. Knowing he'd never be alone again.  
"Ew! Commie love!" America whined childishly.  
"Kolkolkolkolkolkolkolkol."  
The End


End file.
